Tuesday, August 23, 2011

one

Mas okay ang mga nangyari ngayong araw na 'to.

Nakatulog yata siya kagabi at hindi na siya nag-text back kinaumagahan. But it's alright, that's how she is sometimes. May lab ngayon kaya makakausap ko nanaman siya ng mas maayos. Lab time, hindi na ako nagsayang ng oras at lumapit ako agad sa kanya, I hope I don't look too pushy kasi ayoko naman ng ganun. I just wanted to talk to her, that's all. Maybe it's selfishness..

Ayun. Nagtawanan kami kasama ang madami pang kaibigan. I did not have a lot of time talking to her alone, but the laughs were worth it. Masaya naman kami nung mga panahong yun. I luxuriated in her nearness. Malapit nanaman siya, and for me, that's plenty enough.

I went out once at one of our classes, I think that's TL. I patted her head before going out. Nag-linger pa ako ng kaunti. The ways I show affection.. Minsan nawi-weirduhan na din ako sa sarili ko. But I need to let her feel that, ewan ko, nag-o-overflow kasi.

Ngayon din pala pinagdesisyunan kung saan ka sasama sa fieldtrip ng batch. I wanted to go to Singapore, but truthfully, kahit saan basta kasama siya okay sa akin. I think of her too much, I guess. Healthy pa ba ito? Hahaha.

Before going home, we caught each other's eyes once again. I'd like to think that there's that one glance that's just for the two of us - nangyari nanaman siya kanina. We said goodbye to each other without words, parang nangyayari na dati. It was a short while, but it made me happy. So happy. And contented.

Pero nagmessage siya sa akin pagkatapos naming maghiwalay. Naaasar daw siya. Hindi ko alam kung bakit. Sa tingin ko naman hindi dahil sakin, pero gusto ko parin malaman kung anong dahilan. I want to carry her burden. Gusto kong saluhin siya, gusto kong nandun ako at may magawa ako sa kanya kapag kailangan niya na talaga.

I'll message her later to say goodnight. Hindi ko naman siya pipilitin kung ayaw niyang i-open yun ngayon. There will be time tomorrow. And I'll make sure I'll let her feel she's not alone.



PS. Napag-isip-isip ko na magsusulat ako dito hanggang sa pwede ko nang sabihin sa kanya lahat ng naiisip ko. I want to believe that time will come. At pag nangyari yun, wala talaga akong itatago sa kanya at hindi ko siya lolokohin. Kahit kailan.

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